The storm before the calm

Just after Christmas of ‘04 John came back for me again. This time he had a one way ticket to Chicago, because together we would be driving back to California. I was moving back home. Well, close to home. I’d be making a new home by moving in with John.

By this time I had successfully finished school, only had about a week left at work and was ready to move forward. John and I were able to spend our 2nd New Year’s Eve together in Chicago and I celebrated knowing the year to come would bring me so much happiness.

My cute little apartment in the city was nearly all packed up. I was sad to leave. I always get attached to places I live, but this apartment was extra special. It was where I finally found my true independence. It was a darling Victorian style courtyard building I had been living in for well over a year and a half. I was on the third floor of a walk-up, which wasn’t fun to move in and out of but had plenty of charm once you were settled. My drafting table for school work was set up by the window. I could look out onto the courtyard below and was often inspired by the changing of seasons. Being a California girl I never realized how much fun the anticipation of different seasons brings. When my window was open I could hear the crowds at Wrigley Field just a few blocks away. I’d have the Cubs games muted on TV while I did homework and when I’d hear a loud uproar out my window I would turn the sound on to find out what happened.

Wrigley Field

I was also only about a block from Lincoln Park and the lakefront. I often went to the park and sat by the lake. Sometimes I’d take my school work over there and other times it would just be a place to relax or go for a nice long walk. It was a fantastic city and a hard place for me to say good-bye to. I was a much different girl when I left that city than when I arrived. I proved so much to myself during those 5 years. It is a part of my life that will always bring a smile to my face. I was leaving good friends too. When I first moved there I was so afraid of not making friends. Turned out I met some really amazing people. I moved away feeling sad to leave some spectacular friends behind. I met some of the nicest people, with the biggest hearts while I was there. They are friends I will always cherish.

But that being said I knew it was time for a new chapter in my life. John was here to take me home and I couldn’t wait for our future together. He packed the little odds and ends for me while I finished up my last few days at work. We went out with friends and they even had a going away party for me.

It had been snowing for quite a while and it wasn’t predicted to stop any time soon. The night before we left Chicago, John and I went to dinner at a little restaurant just down the street from my apartment. We sat right by the front window in this tiny eatery. We watched people walking to and from the train station near by. It was cold outside. The snow was coming down in light flurries but then proceeded to get heavier and heavier. I remember sitting there watching the snow pour from the sky and just thinking that I better enjoy this magical sight because my time here was coming to an end. We finished our lovely dinner and walked back - in the now blizzard like conditions. Luckily it was a short walk.

The news was calling for “the storm of the year” around the country. It seemed as though all the states we would be passing through were expected to get record amounts of snow, rain, or both over the next few days. All of our parents were worried about us making the drive. I remember talking to my Dad after we came home from dinner that night. He was so worried and told me we should wait a week to leave until the weather passed. I cried after that conversation. My emotions were already running high and I didn’t know what to do. I had to be out of my apartment, John had to be back to work, we rented the truck, I had movers coming (although even they wouldn’t confirm because of the snow). I had planned this. I was emotionally ready and was afraid if we post-poned the move it would just be that much harder to leave. We decided to sleep on it and see what tomorrow would bring.

The next morning the snow continued. There was a good 3-4’ on the ground but the movers told me they would come. They helped us load our Penske truck and were great sports about the 3 story walk-up, tight corner, heavy furniture situation.

When we finally finished packing the truck that had been double parked on my little city street, I told John I’d meet him down there in a minute. I had to take one last walk around my apartment by myself. It was time to say good-bye and leave this lovely place. I cried as we drove out of town; just as I did driving out of Santa Cruz when I was moving TO Chicago. Ending a life chapter is always bittersweet for me. I get very attached and change is hard. But once I commit, I usually don’t have regrets.

So we headed out of the City. I watched the skyline the whole way. The overall drive was a bit dodgy. We did hit some bad weather and it seemed like we were moving right along Hwy 40 with the storm. We drove through states I had never been to before. We saw the St. Louis Arch, the not so exciting Oklahoma City, and literally smelled the BBQ as we passed through Amarillo, Texas. We drove through gorgeous, snowy Flagstaff, AZ. and then up to The Flamingo Casino in Laughlin, NV. On January 11th, 2005 we pulled into the driveway of what would soon become “our” home in Squaw Valley, CA. We were both relieved to have made it in one piece. Being stuck in very close quarters for the previous few days again proved we were good company for each other. We had arrived!

Forever Christmas, during Thanksgiving

I had been working really hard at school and work, as well as playing hard with my fabulous Chicago friends. They were such good company and brought me so much happiness. They were my Mid-Western family. I was eager to finish school in December of ‘04 and receive my degree in Interior Design. It would be a big accomplishment for me and something I would be proud of.


But first I was planning a trip back home for Thanksgiving. I would meet up with John and we would drive to my Dad’s new house in Nevada for the holiday. I had never been to this house before and I was under the impression John hadn’t either. As we drove through the mountains to Gardnerville, we enjoyed the uninterrupted time together. We came into town and got a little lost going through my Dad’s neighborhood. John kept asking if each turn was the right way. I told him I didn’t know; I had never been here either. My Dad and Step-Mom had recently moved to this area so it was all new to me.

Finally we arrived and had a nice visit with my family. I had a sneaking suspicion that John might propose to me during this trip. I was hopeful anyway.

The next morning John and I got up and went for a walk on the backside of my Dad’s neighborhood. We climbed to the top of a hill and enjoyed the beautiful view of the mountains that make up Lake Tahoe. I thought, “Is this it? Is this where he’ll pop the question?” It was beautiful, we were alone and it would be memorable. But we commented on the view, chit-chatted, shared a quick kiss and then down the hill we went.

Later that day my Dad and Sharon wanted to take us to a near-by town called Virginia City. It’s an old-timey little western town. They have wooden-slatted sidewalks, quaint shops, an old casino and several western style “watering holes.” We walked around sight seeing for quite a while and then wondered into the casino. We were playing the slots when Sharon pulled me aside. “I want to get your Dad a present from the leather store right down the street. Keep him busy in here until I get back.” I agreed. She came back shortly and we wondered further down the street in and out of shops. My Dad talked me into buying a cowboy hat, by which to remember this trip.

Just outside “Forever Christmas” (one of those year-round Christmas shops) Sharon announced she wanted to look for an ornament for her daughter. She walked in first, I followed, Dad and John were behind me. I walked through the door and the woman behind the counter shouted at me, “Oh, yay! You are the 1000th customer of the month and you win a free present!” She showed me a tick-marked sheet of paper where she had been keeping count.

Surprised, I replied, “Oh great. I was losing at the casino so I’m happy to win something finally.”

“Let me go in the back and get it.” She said as she scurried off.

She came back with a red fabric ornament box and handed it to me. I opened it and inside was a champagne glass shaped ornament that said “Melissa & John 2004.” At that moment the shock hit me and I realized something was up. There was shimmering confetti inside and in that was the ring. I looked up to find John in front of me, on one knee. My head was spinning. My Step-Mom, the store clerk and other random customers were snapping photos of us. I was so surprised by how this was all going down that I honestly don’t remember exactly what John said to me. All I know is that he said he loved me and asked me to be his wife. I think I just kept saying something like, “Oh my god! I can’t believe this! I’m so happy!” etc. as I ripped off the ring we bought together in Mexico. The one that had been saving the place for this beautiful ring that I hoped was coming. He asked, “So does that mean yes?”

“Yes, yes, yes!!” I was flabbergasted and extremely excited to be taking this step with him. As I said, I had a suspicion that he might be proposing on this holiday weekend but how, and where it happened, completely caught me off guard; which is exactly how I wanted it.

After we all came down from the high, we walked across the street to the local Saloon for a celebratory drink. The bartender poured us each a glass of champagne and we told her the story. A woman sitting at the end of the bar said, “I don’t mean to eves drop but I’m a writer for the local Virginia City newspaper. I love your story and was wondering if I could put it in the paper?” We thought that would be great. She got our names and all the details. We gave her our address and a few weeks later she sent us a copy of the article. Now, still today when my parents go to Virginia City the store clerk and the bartender ask about us. They are thrilled to know we are still happy and have a wonderful little boy.

Turned out, when Sharon asked me to “keep my Dad busy” they were actually trying to keep ME busy while she ran down and dropped off the ring. Also, John later told me he took a trip to see my Dad and Sharon about a month or so before. He had been to the house and knew exactly where he was going when he pretended to be lost in the neighborhood. They had me fooled! John stayed at their house that night and asked my Father’s blessing for the proposal. Ahhh! And then that’s when all the plotting and scheming started! Sharon suggested Virginia City and John’s first thought was while panning for gold I would come across the ring. Sharon was afraid it might get lost in the shuffle and talked him out of that idea. Good job Sharon. And so the Christmas store idea was born and boy, an engagement ring was the last thing I thought I would get in “Forever Christmas.”

And so the courting continued...

And so the courting continued. John would come to visit me during the winter when he was able to take longer periods of time off work and I would come to California whenever possible. It was tough at times, this long distance arrangement, but we were determined to make this work.


In December, 2003 John came to Chicago just before New Years. We had a fabulous night out on the town with some of my friends; a dinner at Wildfire Grill (appropriately named) and then a concert at House of Blues - sealed with a New Years kiss. It was perfect. A few days later John and I headed to Cozumel, Mexico for our first vacation together. This would be a test of sorts. Neither of us would be “hosting” the other, showing that person around, we would be together 24 hrs for 7 days. Could we handle it? Would we be ready to kill each other by the end of the week? We would find out.

John had been certified to Scuba Dive for sometime now and he talked me into going through the course. I find it ironic that I grew up with the beach just a quick bike ride away but I waited until I moved to the Mid-West to figure out Scuba Diving might be pretty cool. The course took place in an indoor pool and the teacher kept things fun and entertaining. Teaching us terms like “scuba boogie”, that’s when you come up from underwater and don’t realize you have a booger hanging out of your nose. He took the class seriously, but never passed up an opportunity to make us laugh. I got officially certified in a murky quarry in a Chicago suburb. I knew it would be nothing like the real deal, being out in the ocean, but at least I had my “skills” down. I passed the final exam and was free to wonder the ocean blue.

Cozumel was my first Scuba adventure. Wow, I got spoiled! It was absolutely amazing. This was the experience that sold me on the sport; hook, line and sinker – no pun intended. We stayed at a place called “Scuba Club Cozumel.” It catered towards divers (obviously). They offered dives every morning, in the afternoon and some night dives. You could also do shore dives right off the beach of the Hotel. Awesome! After we both got reacquainted with our gear and I practiced my skills a bit more  (now that I was actually in the ocean) we were ready. We dove every morning, each day going to different spots and following our guide’s lead. We went more that 100’ down at one point and through some sea caves. The fish, the coral and the scenery in general were spectacular!

We had a lovely room with Mexican décor of white stucco walls and the colorful bedspreads and tapestries as decoration. There was a balcony just off our room that overlooked the ocean. Each night we’d sit out there and enjoy the view while sipping on a drink. There was a “pirate” theme boat that would go by every night, playing their pirate songs, “…Yo Ho Yo Ho, a pirate’s life for me…” Was an old wooden ship and you could always hear the people whooping and hollering, partying it up. But we were more than content to just be together, sitting on our otherwise quiet balcony, watching the sun go down. Several nights we also got fantastic shows from the dolphins. I have seen dolphins before, but never this many and this consistently. I swear they were there to perform. It seemed as if they were dancing with each other just for our amusement. Anyway, long story short, we made it. Our relationship passed the test – with flying colors! In fact we learned that we travel quite well together and couldn’t wait to do it again.

But eventually we had to pack up our swimsuits and head back to Chicago. Once back in the windy city, we arrived to at least 2’ of snow and blizzard conditions. Reality hit us. We hadn’t solved the distance problem yet, but in due time we would.

I had made a promise to both my Dad, and my friend Sandi. That promise was that I would finish school no matter what. Not that I was thinking of giving it up, but I did do some research on the possibility of transferring back to California, possibly San Francisco or LA. In the end, I stayed. I finished what - and where, I started and I was glad I did. We continued our long distance relationship for another year; all the while learning more about each other and ourselves. It was important for us to really know who we were and what we wanted out of a possible husband or wife. We had both made mistakes in the past and been through some heartache. This time we were learning from our mistakes and moving forward with level heads.

At the very end of John’s visit we were walking on the snowy streets around my neighborhood. We decided to duck into a Mexican restaurant for a Margarita. We had to have one last taste of Mexico before he flew out. Well we had one, and then we had two of the margaritas that I now, lovingly call the “murder your dreamy relationship margaritas.” Two was enough to give you a really good buzz, even in this 10 degree weather. We walked back to my apartment and proceeded to have a serious talk. I said something to the effect of… “although things are moving along SO well, I just want to take things a little slow.” Or something like that; I don’t quite remember. But what John heard in his buzzed up state of mind was, “I’m not sure this is working out. Let’s take a break.” Or something like that; he doesn’t quite remember. Anyway, it sent the night into a tailspin. I had to get up and go to work the next morning and he was headed to the airport. It was a terrible way to say goodbye. Each of us was unsure what the other was thinking but we both knew we wanted this to work out, but we couldn’t quite tell the other what we were trying to say. Confused? Exactly. So he flew out depressed and discouraged and I headed to work where all I could think about was the amazing week and a half we spent together, but what was it exactly that I said to make everything go so wrong? That was the longest flight of both of our lives. By the time he got home, I called him to clear things up. We both apologized and agreed that all we wanted was to continue this relationship moving full steam ahead. This mishap only made it more clear to us. Thank goodness the good times far out weighed the bad and we knew this could work. Damn those margaritas! And so the courting continued….

Fireworks

The first time John and I met face to face was the 4th of July weekend, 2003. John is usually on a fire at this peak time in his season but I was looking for any excuse to come to California and check this boy out in person. I told him I was coming to see my family and if he happened to be around it would be great to get together. I was trying to play it cool. He agreed but warned me that usually he is not home during this time. I planned the trip anyway.


I remember everyday was painstakingly agonizing wondering if he would be called away. I literally wouldn’t know if he would be there until I saw his face – or not.

Since April we had sent many letters, shared a few pictures of ourselves and spoke on the phone several times. Things were moving along wonderfully but you never really know if you’re going to click with someone until you meet them in person.

I flew into San Jose airport and at that point John was still home. Yay! As much as my Mom missed me and wanted to spend time with me, she selflessly drove me to Los Banos where we met Mariah, and then she and I drove to John’s house in Squaw Valley. I remember changing my clothes in her car, touching up my make up and being down right giddy with anticipation.

We arrived at John’s house on the hill and as we came through the back gate I saw him through the window making the final touches on the dinner he prepared. My heart fluttered and I suddenly got extremely nervous. He came out of the house, said hello and gave me a hug. It was a bit awkward due to our nerves but we were both very happy this moment had finally come. At that point in my life I wasn’t eating red meat. Even though he BBQ’d steak for everyone else, he made me salmon. Nice! He also made some delicious rice and a green salad – with apples! I remember thinking wow this guy is pulling out all the stops. Nice touch. Mariah, Robert, John and I enjoyed a great dinner on his back patio admiring his view of the mountains. He was a perfect gentleman and definitely lived up to my expectations. I was smitten! My worries were put to rest and I knew I could have a relationship with this guy. As the night went on, the beer and wine flowed, he gave me a tour of his house and then took me to this little lookout point where he had a tree swing. I sat in it and enjoyed the view. As I stood up there was an ideal moment for a first kiss. Like I said, he was acting like a gentleman so I had to make the move. We kissed and it was perfect.

Turned out, John was home most of the weekend, never getting called to a fire. That was our first sign that this was meant to be. He took me to Shaver Lake where his Dad and Step-mom were camping with his Step-sister and her fiancé. Then we went to his Grandma’s cabin where I met Grandma Polly, John’s sister and her friends. Everyone was so nice and I instantly felt completely comfortable around all of them.

The next day we moseyed over to my neck of the woods, Santa Cruz. That night was my Grandparents wedding anniversary and there was a big party for them at a local restaurant. I didn’t even tell John about it at first. Things were going so well, and not that my family isn’t great, but I worried it would be too much too soon. After all, this was my entire family on my Mom’s side - aunts, cousins, grandparents, siblings, etc. I didn’t want to scare him away. But once he got wind of it he insisted on attending. He said, “This is a big deal. It’s your Grandparents anniversary. We can’t miss this. We’re going.” So after meeting my Mom at the bar for a much needed Margarita, we entered the party. We had a ball. My family, like his, was extremely welcoming and everyone ran right up and gave him hugs. John fit right in. He chatted, joked and even played along in my Aunt’s version of the Newlywed game. It was more even confirmation that this might just work out.

The following day we went to the beach with my Sister, Brother and Nephews. My Brother didn’t waste anytime giving John the “You better respect my Sister” speech. He chose to do it out in the middle of the ocean while they bodysurfed. A little intimidating huh? But John hung in there and as I said, fit right in.

It was the most amazing weekend. Neither of us wanted it to end. I don’t remember which day exactly was the 4th of July and I don’t think we ever actually saw any fireworks, but they were there. Trust me, sparks were flying all weekend and we both knew this was the beginning of something great.

Our Fairytale Beginning

Once upon a time there was a girl sitting in her apartment alone, minding her own business, just doing her schoolwork. She suddenly got a call from her BFF who said, “I just met your future husband!”


The girl rolled her eyes and thought, “Yeah right.”

But she played along. She asked who he was, how her friend met him, what he did, his name, etc. She learned he lived about 3000 miles away; which only added to her doubt of anything ever coming of this. But her friend was determined to make something happen.

“Fine,” the girl finally said, “give him my email and tell him to send me a message sometime.”

The girl’s friend quickly and excitedly agreed and hung up the phone. A day or two went by and the girl honestly never gave the “future husband” a second thought. She had been out of a serious relationship for about a year now and after dating here and there, off and on, she was pretty convinced that she may never marry and have the family she hoped for. It was a disappointing thought but life doesn’t always go according to your plan and if that was going to be her destiny then she would find happiness in it. She had finally, after much struggle, come to accept this as her future. Not to mention, in that last year she had gained a lot of independence and self worth. More than she ever had in the past.

So as she carried on with her job, her schooling, and her friends. She was surprised when she heard back from her friend telling her, “He’s just moving into his new house and doesn’t have internet set up yet. He’s wondering if he can have your address and send you a letter.”

Hmmm, the girl thought, now things were getting a bit interesting. She gave her friend the blessing to give him her address. Her interest was peaked but she still had some doubts about his follow through.
Yet proving her wrong, about a week later she received a letter from him, postmarked April 20, 2003. The excitement at this point was building. The girl ran upstairs, threw her bags on the floor and tore open the letter. The very first sentence made her heart skip a beat. “On September 4th, 1973 my parents decided they needed more than just 2 dogs – so enter myself.” It may not seem that spectacular to anyone else, but that sentence will forever be burned in my memory. Okay, so you know by now, this girl is me. I continued to read the letter (over and over again) and just kept coming to the same conclusion; this sounded like something I would write! His humor, his love for his family, his overall perspective of life, it was as if I wrote this letter and was just reading it for the first time. I instantly thought, “Mariah might just have something here.”

I called her and we giggled and gushed like girls do.

I didn’t waste much time in writing him back. I wanted him to know more about me and couldn’t wait for another letter from him. It was on! The letters flew back and forth as we continued to learn more about each other.

It was so romantic. With everyone these days caught up in emails and texting, we were taking a step back and doing this in a more timeless and personal way. In fact it was the same way my Grandparents got to know each other. As John went into fire season I began getting letters on pocketsize notebook paper that was about 3”x1 ½”. They were yellow, lined pages that smelled like smoke. Since the paper was so small the letter would be 20-40 pages long. I loved it. He wrote to me while doing the “Outlook” shift or at night sitting by his campfires. Sometimes he drew me stick figure drawings of him and I doing the stuff we had been writing about – scuba diving, traveling, hanging out at his mountain home with the 2 “mutts” we thought would be fun to have around. Through an email you can’t see the person’s handwriting, smell their scent, or enjoy their drawings. I was happy the email thing didn’t work out. These letters were SO much better!