And so the courting continued...

And so the courting continued. John would come to visit me during the winter when he was able to take longer periods of time off work and I would come to California whenever possible. It was tough at times, this long distance arrangement, but we were determined to make this work.


In December, 2003 John came to Chicago just before New Years. We had a fabulous night out on the town with some of my friends; a dinner at Wildfire Grill (appropriately named) and then a concert at House of Blues - sealed with a New Years kiss. It was perfect. A few days later John and I headed to Cozumel, Mexico for our first vacation together. This would be a test of sorts. Neither of us would be “hosting” the other, showing that person around, we would be together 24 hrs for 7 days. Could we handle it? Would we be ready to kill each other by the end of the week? We would find out.

John had been certified to Scuba Dive for sometime now and he talked me into going through the course. I find it ironic that I grew up with the beach just a quick bike ride away but I waited until I moved to the Mid-West to figure out Scuba Diving might be pretty cool. The course took place in an indoor pool and the teacher kept things fun and entertaining. Teaching us terms like “scuba boogie”, that’s when you come up from underwater and don’t realize you have a booger hanging out of your nose. He took the class seriously, but never passed up an opportunity to make us laugh. I got officially certified in a murky quarry in a Chicago suburb. I knew it would be nothing like the real deal, being out in the ocean, but at least I had my “skills” down. I passed the final exam and was free to wonder the ocean blue.

Cozumel was my first Scuba adventure. Wow, I got spoiled! It was absolutely amazing. This was the experience that sold me on the sport; hook, line and sinker – no pun intended. We stayed at a place called “Scuba Club Cozumel.” It catered towards divers (obviously). They offered dives every morning, in the afternoon and some night dives. You could also do shore dives right off the beach of the Hotel. Awesome! After we both got reacquainted with our gear and I practiced my skills a bit more  (now that I was actually in the ocean) we were ready. We dove every morning, each day going to different spots and following our guide’s lead. We went more that 100’ down at one point and through some sea caves. The fish, the coral and the scenery in general were spectacular!

We had a lovely room with Mexican décor of white stucco walls and the colorful bedspreads and tapestries as decoration. There was a balcony just off our room that overlooked the ocean. Each night we’d sit out there and enjoy the view while sipping on a drink. There was a “pirate” theme boat that would go by every night, playing their pirate songs, “…Yo Ho Yo Ho, a pirate’s life for me…” Was an old wooden ship and you could always hear the people whooping and hollering, partying it up. But we were more than content to just be together, sitting on our otherwise quiet balcony, watching the sun go down. Several nights we also got fantastic shows from the dolphins. I have seen dolphins before, but never this many and this consistently. I swear they were there to perform. It seemed as if they were dancing with each other just for our amusement. Anyway, long story short, we made it. Our relationship passed the test – with flying colors! In fact we learned that we travel quite well together and couldn’t wait to do it again.

But eventually we had to pack up our swimsuits and head back to Chicago. Once back in the windy city, we arrived to at least 2’ of snow and blizzard conditions. Reality hit us. We hadn’t solved the distance problem yet, but in due time we would.

I had made a promise to both my Dad, and my friend Sandi. That promise was that I would finish school no matter what. Not that I was thinking of giving it up, but I did do some research on the possibility of transferring back to California, possibly San Francisco or LA. In the end, I stayed. I finished what - and where, I started and I was glad I did. We continued our long distance relationship for another year; all the while learning more about each other and ourselves. It was important for us to really know who we were and what we wanted out of a possible husband or wife. We had both made mistakes in the past and been through some heartache. This time we were learning from our mistakes and moving forward with level heads.

At the very end of John’s visit we were walking on the snowy streets around my neighborhood. We decided to duck into a Mexican restaurant for a Margarita. We had to have one last taste of Mexico before he flew out. Well we had one, and then we had two of the margaritas that I now, lovingly call the “murder your dreamy relationship margaritas.” Two was enough to give you a really good buzz, even in this 10 degree weather. We walked back to my apartment and proceeded to have a serious talk. I said something to the effect of… “although things are moving along SO well, I just want to take things a little slow.” Or something like that; I don’t quite remember. But what John heard in his buzzed up state of mind was, “I’m not sure this is working out. Let’s take a break.” Or something like that; he doesn’t quite remember. Anyway, it sent the night into a tailspin. I had to get up and go to work the next morning and he was headed to the airport. It was a terrible way to say goodbye. Each of us was unsure what the other was thinking but we both knew we wanted this to work out, but we couldn’t quite tell the other what we were trying to say. Confused? Exactly. So he flew out depressed and discouraged and I headed to work where all I could think about was the amazing week and a half we spent together, but what was it exactly that I said to make everything go so wrong? That was the longest flight of both of our lives. By the time he got home, I called him to clear things up. We both apologized and agreed that all we wanted was to continue this relationship moving full steam ahead. This mishap only made it more clear to us. Thank goodness the good times far out weighed the bad and we knew this could work. Damn those margaritas! And so the courting continued….